41. Time to excuse yourself from the guilt



I am 41.

Yes, this December I turned 41.

I decided at 41, I’m going to release myself from guilt. Guilt of not being enough, not doing enough or accomplishing enough.

I realized that in little ways we are all telling ourselves every day, “I did wrong”. The word resolution, which we hear so much in the beginning of a new year, means simply to resolve or to make amends of something we have done wrong.

The new year is always a new start. Fresh new beginnings so we set resolutions.

Does that mean the year before was so bad, we were so bad that we have to resolve it with new goals. Fixing our mistakes? I say no! Not anymore. No more resolutions. No more feeling that what I’ve done is wrong or not good enough.

This year I have made, not resolutions, but “statements of intent.” Things I fully intend to do. Goals. If I do them, great. If not, that’s okay, too.

Far too often, especially when it comes to weight loss and fitness we think that there will be this magic day when we no longer have to struggle or work at it. That’s just not the way it works so why beat yourself up with the mindset of resolving what you’ve done? It’s done, just move on. Everything happens for a reason. You are meant to be right where you are. In 2013, I lost my mother to cancer. She spent 30 days in hospice. Not one time did she ever say, “I wish I had been thinner or gone to the gym more”. She never regretted a piece of cake she ate or dessert that she had.

She wanted to hug us and live. Her one goal was live. She sadly lost her battle, but my brother and I vowed to live for her.

In 2017, look forward.

Don’t look back at the desserts you ate or the days you didn’t go to the gym. Do what makes you feel good. Live with intention. If you intend on being healthy, make those choices that will support that journey. If you are truly happy right where you are in life, that’s okay too. Allow yourself to be happy. If you want to be more successful, then take actions to be more successful.

Make a list of intentions. Release yourself from the guilt. Be the best “you” possible.

That’s the only resolution you should make in 2017.

Patricia Miller is a WISFA chapter development officer and can be found on lnstagram at @worththeweightmedia